What Matters Most

This week, I find myself caring less about what others think and more about what matters most to me: my family, myself, my passions (something I struggle with now and then). And I thought I would share the inner workings of my thoughts, as they may be helpful to you in your endeavors as parents striving to live consciously and raise really cool little humans.

My Compass

It is amazing how easily life can take a turn where I find myself once again having to reassess my priorities. I remember when I was young and was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my almost absolute answer was, “I want to be the best mommy I can be”.  That statement has been my compass throughout my adult life and stemmed this most recent assessment of my priorities.

Am I being the best mommy I can be?

Am I living up to my own standards?

Am I upholding the values we, as a family, set forth when we began having children?

My hunch is if I have to ask the questions, I am probably not doing so great.

No cold pricklies being sent my way here. Just observation and renegotiation with myself in terms of how I want to live my life and how I want to be in this world as a parent.

So what are my values as a parent?

I know I value quality time together. I value giving my child enriching experiences.  I value that she always knows how much we love her, not because we’ve said it but because we show love each and everyday. I value creating a safe haven within my home.  Respect,  responsibility, communication, and honesty are a big priority for myself, my family members, and our circle of supportive friends.

I wrote a manifesto of sorts on this blog a while back. In it, I said that whatever I want for my children, I also must do.  If I want her to feel loved, I must feel love for myself.

Am I actually living up to my own standards of parenting consciously?

If I am answering that truthfully, I would have to say most of the time, at least for my definition of conscious parenting.

So am I being the best mommy I can be?

This one I can answer with a resounding yes. Being the best mommy I can be is not the top of the mountain, it is the whole mountain. It is the peaks and the valleys of my journey as a mother. It is the rivers and fruit-bearing trees. It is the seasons. It is the cloudy and sunny days. It is in the striving for my own self-awarded best mommy trophy that my own excellence shines through.

And yours…

No one is perfect because perfect does not have an agreed upon definition by all of us. But I can strive to be my very best.

Now back to my priorities assessment and why this all came up in the first place.

I am a supermom in training. A superwoman who likes to do it all. This is how my priorities if not checked on regularly can get out of balance.  I was exhausted by the end of the day, my health was waning, the mortgage was being paid, but I was not enjoying our house, my family was eating and I was cooking dinner as usual, but I would not even remember what we ate, much less whether it tasted good.  These were giant flares being sent out on top of my mother mountain, signaling that my life was out of balance and we were all suffering because of it.

Sometimes, we have to give things up in order to gain even more back.

I looked at all parts of my life, taking into account my priorities, my passions, my sanity needs (those things we do for ourselves to escape that without them we go a bit loopy – like chocolate, massages, books, date nights, video games, quiet time, etc.).

Conclusion and Plan of Action

I came to the conclusion that I have said yes to too many things, stretching so thin, I am not able to enjoy much of anything.  So, I release and surrender those things that are no longer serving me.

Join me tomorrow, when I lay out my plan of action with more detail.  It may help you, as well, gain back balance and joy in your life.

Enjoy my musings!

Amie

My Mother Mountain - The best I am as a mother is in the striving toward excellence, not the destination.